Encouragement

A mother giving a star to her son.

Today I wrote a note to a boy, because he made a new friend. You might wonder why, since this is quite normal, but it is something I have never seen him do before.

The context is this: He is a boy who is great friends with another boy, because he is crazy about sharks, and the other children don't like it when he always mentions sharks. Sharks. Sharks. Sharks. I do get annoyed hearing him mention sharks EVERYWHERE. I work in a Catholic school, so even his prayers are all about sharks.

After I wrote the letter, his behaviour really improved. When he was going back, he was smiling.

Of course, this is not easy. Impossible, even. I am a generally positive person, but I have to be firm with the kids. Sometimes work stress does get to me, and I must confess that some of it goes to the children. Seeing colleagues being firm will no doubt force me to do the same.

But I believe positivity is more powerful than negativity. Speaking words of encouragement will really go a long way. As educators, while it is important to be firm with kids, we must be careful that our words don't come across as too hurtful.

It is always easier to say words than to hear them. Calling someone stupid might be harmless, but it can crush a person. Children are even more vulnerable. I might just stay in their memory for the rest of their lives; better not be a source of pain or negativity to them.

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Loved and Unloved Children

A mother hugging her child.

There are two boys. Boy A and boy B.

Boy A is adored by his parents and grandparents from both sides of the family. His achievements are celebrated and honoured. He is always so cheerful in class, both to his peers and teachers. Though he is a little bit shy, he is comfortable with showing his work to others.

Boy B has a broken family. One parent is passive, so the pressure is on the other. He gets scolded daily. When asked what he did wrong, he could not answer. He would apologise, but then do the same action again.

It takes a village to raise a child. While children learn social skills and moral values in school, it does not mean that parents do not have to inculcate values in them. It is a partnership between parents and teachers to nurture the child. I am not a parent yet, but I do understand the struggles parents have to go through. I am thankful that I get to see them for only a few hours daily. But then, there is not enough time.

Values like honesty, loving others, respecting others, etc, must be taught both at home and in school. Children must be empowered and encouraged. I really don't like to scold children. The negative words or tone can actually break them. I have tried saying something positive or giving a gift as encouragement, and it helps to build them.

Faith, hope, and love. Love is the most important.

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Tell Me Your Story

A storybook.

Yesterday, a boy came to me and told me he was writing a story. I told him to show it to me, and after thinking for a split second, he said it was not done. This boy is more open with his friends and quite shy with me. So I really treasure this moment.

There is also another boy who is addicted to sharks. Everything has to be about sharks. He is someone I have classroom management issues with. He would often inject sharks into any random topic or discussion, to the annoyance of his peers. He shared with me that he has only one friend, because the rest don't like it when he mentions sharks. But I believe there is a deeper meaning behind his fascination. Usually, kids will not be so fixated on one thing.

I read a book to the class, and I mentioned that I chose the book for him. It has a picture of a shark inside, though that was not the focus of the story. Throughout the day, his behaviour improved.

Honestly speaking, I love the first boy more than the second. I confess this sin. But I am still learning to love every child equally. It is obvious that when you empower children, they feel more confident, and you notice their behaviour becoming better.

Every child is different, and we teachers should cater for their needs. Right now, I am preparing the children for their K2 graduation. The process is very child-directed, from the theme to the song choice to the costumes, though as a teacher, I have to plan the dance and formation. But it is more majority-based than individual-based. Even during normal lessons, I am behind the syllables. I try to ensure the children complete the worksheets, and I would go to each group to teach them if they need help. So the children will usually do the worksheets or practise their dance.

In the context of the classroom, it is usually teacher-directed. It takes more effort on the teacher's part to make it cater to individuals. We are not their parents, so it is easy to classify each child as "1 of the 25," or "3 of the 15."

But each child is an individual, with their own unique stories to tell. If we invest more time in allowing each child to share their stories, we might see miracles.

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Why Kids Should Be Allowed to Be Messy

Messy play.

We have all seen it before. When you leave children alone for too long, they start to get bored and play with anything they can get their little hands on. Chalk starts to get on the floor, glue is everywhere, and papers are torn and scattered.

Adults will often frown and get angry at such creative expressions. I am no exception. I do not like children touching or messing up my things. Then I have to clean it all up, as chances are they do not know how to clean up.

But it is so important we do not stifle their creativity. They should be allowed to make mistakes. If everything is curated nicely for them, they will not be problem-solvers when they grow up. When they run into a difficult time, they will flee or seek a common solution. But this world does not need robots. We need creative people. We need ideas. We need bravery.

I believe everything should be done in moderation. Do not limit them, but also do not give them too wide a choice. Guide them along, but do not force them.

One good way to promote creativity is through messy play. Intentionally tell your children that they are allowed to be as messy as they want to, as long as they clean up after themselves. You can set boundaries so that they don't mess up important things. It does take effort from the parents, but you can see the results in your children.

Messy play promotes the use of their senses. Children learn through play. Enough of the tablet or phone games/videos. Children should be allowed to play using their senses. Learn how bubbles form. Feel the texture of mud as it dries up. Pour water back and forth.

Hope your children can have fun!

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Inappropriate Content for Children

Inappropriate content.

Should you allow children to be exposed to inappropriate content such as curse words or sexual material? The answer might be obvious, but let's unpack this a little bit. Here is my opinion as both an educator and an adult.

As an educator, I will say no. I will immediately stop any inappropriate behaviour, whether intentional or not. But I try to do it calmly. The last thing I want is to blow up and allow children to be even more attracted to the behaviour. I won't even offer my opinion on controversial topics. I do not want to engage in debates with parents regarding controversial topics. I just try to make my classrooms as sanitised as possible.

These are not my kids. I do not have the right to control their minds.

But as an adult, I will say that it is more important to focus on education. Inappropriate content is everywhere. How will you stop your children from watching them? If you educate your loved ones in a restricted manner, they might end up rebellious. In their whole life, they only know that they cannot do certain things. But they do not know why.

So instead, teach them moral values. Go so far as to teach them about purity in marriage. Hollywood holds nothing back in bringing adultery and rape to the small and big screens, so always be ready to nurture your children.

Moreover, what if you do the very act you condemn? If a heavy object falls on your feet, your first 4-letter word will not be love!

But in the end, I think it all boils down to your own moral standing. Your own beliefs will somehow find their way to your children, whether you like it or not. If you live a promiscuous lifestyle, don't expect your children to be holy and pure if you do not nurture them correctly. Likewise, even if you are the holiest and purest person, don't be surprised if your kid starts saying words you have never taught them before.

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Dangers of Giving Mobile Devices to Children

Child with a phone.

Aww. Look at the little girl playing on the smartphone. Technology enables us to teach our children when we, as educators or parents, are too busy. But remember, technology should never become a substitute for human interaction.

I have seen so many children playing on tablets or mobile phones at such a young age. When I was 6, I was learning to use a Windows PC. I remember feeling so scared when I unplugged the headphone audio jack by mistake. Nowadays, children are able to open and close apps on their own.

I do understand why people would want to leave kids on the electronic devices. Sometimes you are too busy. Sometimes they just want a little bit of entertainment. I am not saying it is wrong to give tablets to children, but do it moderately.

Here are 4 reasons why parents SHOULD NOT give tablets/phones to children:

1- Behaviour

Children screaming.

Being a preschool teacher, I have seen how some children are always restless. If their behaviours are not properly corrected and nurtured, they will not learn well in school. Whether it is inappropriate content or unpleasant words, children learn things very quickly.

2- Delayed gratification

Child waiting.

The thing about games is that they offer instant gratification. What it means is that if you complete a task, you get the reward immediately. When you kill this monster, you level up. When you complete 10 hours in the game, you get an achievement. Does this happen in real life? When you say a kind word to someone, will they say it back? When you ask for a present, will you always get it?

Life is cruel, let's face it. Children need to learn that things don't always go the way they want them to. While it sounds obvious, people just don't get it. Children need to be patient.

3- Spoiling

Child with gifts.

A good way for a kid to grow up with bad character is to always shower them with gifts. While the act of giving is not wrong, too much is a bad thing. If your child has done something good, praise him. If it is something great, bring him out. Giving him an electronic device offers room for even greater demands. I know, as I was once a little boy. If your child constantly demands it, it might be good to understand and change their behaviour.

4- No time with you

Child and parents with phones.

Imagine a parent and a child at a restaurant. Both of them are using their phones. You might end up leaving the restaurant only remembering the person you were chatting with, and not the one you were literally just sitting across from. How ironic that we spend more time with a person through a phone than with one sitting next to us.

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Male Preschool Teacher

Male preschool teacher.

What comes to mind when I mention a preschool teacher?

You start to think of classrooms. Chairs and tables of all sorts of colours. Decorations hanging from the ceiling, walls, and doors. The smell of fragrance cascades through the rooms. The warm sunlight bathes the floors. 

No matter what you were thinking of, your image of a teacher is a female.

I am a male preschool teacher. I am learning to both embrace and appreciate the fact. 99% of my colleagues are all female. It takes a lot of security to be able to stand amongst them. Often, I am the butt of their jokes, and I do get offended. But I understand that people can get careless with their words.

I find my role very crucial. Children need to see this stereotype changed before it can't be changed. Boys can like pink. Girls can like blue. You might nod your head in agreement, but often these stereotypes happen.

When you see a boy crying, you will tell him that he is a boy. He needs to man up. But when a girl cries, it's okay. So the boy grows up thinking that men are not allowed to express their emotions.

I can't tell you how damaging this is. When I was 13, I got bullied by the whole class because of my looks. I cried during assembly time, and when the class prefect saw that and asked me, I pretended I didn't. No way! I am a man. A manly man. A manly man who will not be allowed to cry.

So I am hopeful for the future. A future where gender stereotypes can be removed.

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Heart Behind This Blog

Xy Preschool Teacher.

As educators, what is our utmost priority but children? Honestly, our jobs do not pay quite as well as others. We might not be able to afford luxurious vacations or dress extravagantly, but our passions are what fuel us on this incredible journey.

But passions can fade. Emotions can wear thin. Then we depend on something called commitment. Someone once told me that your commitment has to be stronger than your emotions.

So we need as much encouragement as we can get. That's why I have created this blog. Hopefully, you can be encouraged by some of the posts here. Or you might be interested in the resources found here.

Either way, I am so glad you are an educator.

Let me end with one of my favourite quotes.

"A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child." -Forest E. Witcraft

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